


A Birthday To Remember

by millygal



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV), Stargate Atlantis, Supernatural
Genre: Crack, Fluff and Crack, Other, Silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-18
Updated: 2016-09-18
Packaged: 2018-08-15 17:29:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8065774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/millygal/pseuds/millygal
Summary: Now that's how you celebrate a birthday.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [wings128](https://archiveofourown.org/users/wings128/gifts).



> For one of my dearest friends on her birthday. Happiest of happies wings128. As I couldn't get you the real deal, I hope this will do :) ♥

Killian uses Sheppard's dog tags to yank him backwards, sliding into the gap created by his flailing body. "Losers weepers, Fly-Boy."

Ronon looks at Dean who nods and they both shove forward, hard, flattening the cheeky pirate against the door.

" _Losers weepers_ , Boat-Boy."

Shreds of wrapping paper fill the air like confetti as presents land in an undignified heap at the feet of men all old enough to know better than to be squabbling on a sunny front porch in New Zealand.

"It's a **ship**!"

************

Jay's just about putting the finishing touches to her outfit when she hears a crash and four deep male voices all squawking and swearing in her front yard.

Shaking her head and chuckling, Jay pulls open the front door and is nearly knocked off her expensive heals by a mosh-pit like tangle of legs and arms all batting and kicking at the person next to them. "Guys, seriously!"

Four sets of contrite eyes all peer up at her from the floor before the wolf whistles kick in.

"Damn, Jay, **very** nice."

"Check out the legs on this chick."

"Madam, you are a vision in silk."

"Nice threads, Jay.

Laughing and spinning on the spot, Jay grins at her boys. "You think?"

"Damn straight, Red."

Dean struggles out of the heap of bodies piled on top of him and stands, dusting himself off before grabbing Jay up in a bear hug and twirling her around. "Happy birthday, beautiful. Sammy sends his love, sorry he couldn't be here but there's some giant apocalyptic problem, as always. Plus he's currently babysitting an Angel with a sugar high hang over."

Jay drinks in the scent of stale whiskey and leather as she slides down Dean's chest. "So what exactly are you doing here? Shouldn't you be mounting a defence..."

Dean grins so wide Jay can see slightly uneven molars. "I **won** Ro-Sham-Bo. I **won**! and one of us needed to be here to see you open your present."

Snorting at Dean's immense happiness over finally kicking his brother's ass at Ro-Sham-Bo, Jay pats him affectionately on the chest and moves towards Killian who's at last on his feet and readjusting his cutlass. "I see we're making friends, as always, Killian."

The Captain smirks and dips his head. "You know me miss Jay, always willing to play nice."

Jay chuckles and steps in for a hug. Strong arms wrap spaghetti strap covered shoulders and Jay fights the urge to reach out with her tongue and lick the pirate's exposed throat. "You're nothing if not a joiner, Hook."

Ronon and Sheppard are stood side by side, the Satedan leaning nonchalantly against the door frame, nonchalance completely undermined by the giant pout adorning his supple lips. John's scuffing his foot and whistling, trying not to lean forward and snatch the red head from Killian's arms. "*ahem* Jay, remember us, flew a few million light years to be here. No big."

Jay laughs out loud and extricates herself from Killian's embrace. "Sorry boys, you know me, hostess to the last. Come here!"

Between Sheppard and Ronon, Jay's lifted into the air and spun, fast enough to make her heart flip. "There she is. How you doing, gorgeous? Man it's been a long time."

Jay allows the feel of strong bodies butting up against her to do wondrous things to her toes, now curling tightly inside her Jimmy-Choo's. "Too long, now put me down before you bang my head on the light fitting. I didn't spend a fortune on my hair just to have a light bulb stuck in it."

Ronon snorts and lays a gentle kiss on the tip of Jay's nose before placing her carefully down. "Yes Ma'am."

John smirks and leans in close, whispering in Jay's ear. "And just so you know, the outfit, stunning."

Jay shivers then laughs before leading all four men into her lounge. Motioning towards the couch she sits in the chair opposite and makes grabbyhands motions with her fingers. "Presents, gimme!"

There's a small commotion as all four men vie for the closest spot to Jay as they sit down. Dean wins out as he sneakily slides underneath Killian whilst he's busy evil-eyeing Ronon who's making lewd hand gestures and poking his tongue out at the pirate.

Jay rolls her eyes and smiles affectionately at her guys, dopey bastards. "You lot are like big children. I already have two teens, we don't need another four surly so-and-so's in the house. Quit it!"

Dean reaches into his pocket, pulling out a satin wrapped box. "You sound like Sammy. It's a little scary!"

Jay assumes jewellery until she deftly strips the box of it's wrapping and is bowled over by the gift within. "Really? I mean _REALLY?_ Are you sure?"

The look on Jay's face makes all the hunting around for a magical locksmith worth the headache. "Yes, Jay. Sam and I would like to officially welcome you to the Bunker. Woman of Letters."

Jay lands none too gently in Dean's lap. Arms wrapped tight around his neck, smile gracing her lips. "Thank you, so much."

Dean pats her back and drops a soft kiss at her temple before helping her right herself. "You're welcome, baby."

John and Ronon shove passed Killian who's proffering a large box with a purple bow adorning it. "Hey!"

"Too slow Cap'"

Jay takes the envelope John's holding out to her and shakes it to see if it's ticking. "Do I need to open this over a washable floor?"

Ronon ducks his head and laughs. "We promised never to do that again, Jay, remember?"

Yes, but you guys are terrible and total liars."

John smirks and shakes his head. "It's safe, just open it already!"

Jay slips a manicured nail beneath the glue and slides sideways. Out fall two pieces of gilt edged card. Picking one up she almost deafens the foursome all watching her intently. "AIEEEEEEE. Oh my god, seriously?!"

Lifting the card into the light, Jay reads aloud for the other two men now shaking their heads and trying to ignore the ringing in their ears. "We of the Atlantis Base would like to offer a month's furlough to the Pegasus Galaxy. All expenses paid.. Ronon Dex and John Sheppard will be your guides, and you will be shown the wonders of this world, and all the other worlds out there. To be redeemed at a time that suits you. Happy Birthday Miss Jay. We hope to see you soon."

Killian's pouting in the middle of the couch, face like he's been slapped with a wet fish. "How am I supposed to compete with that? A key to the mythical Bunker AND a month in another Galaxy. You guys suck!"

Putting her precious tickets down on the table, Jay slides from her chair into Killian's lap. "Come on Hook, you know I'll love whatever it is you've got me. Don't pout, you'll get wrinkles."

Lip twitching beneath his moustache, Killian holds tight to the redhead now snuggled in his lap and nods to the box at his feet. "Fine, open it."

Snatching the box from the floor, Jay makes short work of the purple bow and sparkly wrapping paper, wondering where in the hell Killian managed to scare up such things, picturing him walking into a shop and asking an assistant, in full pirate regalia.

The image makes her laugh out loud as she pulls the most exquisite _pirate wench_ outfit from the box. 

Satins and silks and brocade that will accentuate her curves. It must've cost a fortune to have made and is the perfect shade of emerald, to compliment her red hair. "Oh Killian, thank you! It's absolutely gorgeous."

"Gorgeous for gorgeous, plus I thought you might like to attend the annual Pirate Ball with me, take the dress out for a spin."

All four men cover their ears as Jay expresses her opinion on the idea of accompanying Killian to a formal Pirate bash in the only way a true fangirl can, with a squeal loud enough to shatter glass.

As Jay leaps from Killian's lap and does a very dignified happy dance, Dean nudges John and taps Ronon on the shoulder. "Guys, I think he just trumped us. Typical, flash bastard."


End file.
